Turning 30

I have pretty much all together given up on blogging. Probably obvious to the few readers that every now and then, out of boredom or curiosity, click on the link to see if there have been any updates. But for this occasion, a blog post is necessary. I don't really know why, but it is.

I will admit, that my birthday is not for a couple more months. (2 months, 1 week, and 1 day to be exact) but I am already nervous, excited, sad, eager, depressed, and flat out scared about the approach of my midlife crisis. Yes, you heard me correctly. Mid Life Crisis. I am sure something will happen to me in the next 30 years like getting hit by a truck or Jesus coming back. So if I am living way passed 60, I will be a happy man or at least hope to be.
But 30 is coming and there is nothing I can do about it. I mean, where did the time go? It was only yesterday that I was playing basketball for my high school and pulling allnighters studying for Spanish. What happened to college? That flew by. And now I have been in Cali for 6 years. Really? 6 years? Time continues to tick away, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I don't have the statistics of the average American 30 year old man but when I think of this person, I think of someone I'm not. In my mind its a husband with a kid who owns a house, has a dog, drives a nice car, wears a tie to work, and comes home to dinner on the table. For some reason, I have let society completely deceive me and make me think this is SUCCESS, that this is happiness. If that's the case, I am really behind.
Don't get me wrong. I have a great life. I have a job doing something I love, I have been blessed with some great friends, my family is close by, and I am healthy.
It just seems like something is missing. That something needs to change. And I am anxiously waiting for that day to come. I just have to be patient. I just have to let God do His work in me and the rest of the story will soon fall in to place. God, I hope so.

Life has many seasons, and I cant wait to see what God has in store for me. My prayer is that my story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter. My hope is that this story will be about changing, about getting something new born inside of me, about learning to love a woman, about learning to love a child, about moving myself around mountains, around water, around friends, about learning to love others more than I love myself.

Life was never meant to be stagnant. To replay the same scenes over and over again. Its our responsibility to branch out and live life to the fullest. I have had a fun and entertaining first 30 years. It has had many laughs and even a few tears. I have traveled, met interesting people, fallen in love, fallen out of love, helped some, hurt some, and have desperately tried to draw closer and closer to the God who loves me unconditionally, the one who has given me this story to tell.

My prayer, my dream for the 2nd half of the story is to know Him and to make Him known. To take risks, to let people in. To be nicer, to get closer to my family, to start my own family, to travel, to learn, to let people in. (did i say that already?)
Lets just hope that all this will happen before that bus comes.