I was driving home the other night. It had been a long, emotional, tiring day. These days are rare for me. I am very good (probably too good for my own good) at bottling everything up inside. I think I could probably win an Oscar for hiding what I am truly feeling from people at times. Trust me, this is not something I am proud of.
I had a good 45 minute drive home so I had plenty of time to just pray and think about life. A time to be real and open. I was pretty overwhelmed with so many different emotions that I just needed a release.
And as I was praying, all of a sudden a song popped into my head. Not just any song. This was a song that I haven't heard since Jr. High. A song that was released in 1992. It was a song that was good and comforting for me to hear.
So I plugged in the ipod and listened to Michael W Smiths song "Give it Away"
Throughout the song it tells the story of people who say they love but it cant truly be love until you are willing to give it away. To show them with action.
I immediately felt convicted and was reminded of how selfish I have been lately. How I say I love (and do) but am too scared or selfish to actually show it. I think this selfishness is something that could possibly and unfortunately made me lose some great things in life. There was nothing I was willing to do to sacrifice. Isn't that what love is? Sacrifice?
This has been a lesson well learned and it something that I believe is changing who I am as a person. I'm tired of living the fearful, timid, secure, easy, convenient, selfish life and I truly want to LOVE people with action. I want to sacrifice. I want to give it away.
Jesus was the ultimate example of what love could truly be. Love was His life and He gave it away.
In what ever way I can, I want to sacrifice for the good of others. I want to gain back the things that were possibly lost. I want to change.
I know this blog is just "words" but I am ready to take action.
Thanks God for this awesome reminder.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Benefits that dont benefit
It has been quite some time that I have posted something that has had any true value or even deep thought to it. But for some reason, I thought that today, I would share what God has been teaching me lately. So enjoy yourself readers(or reader)Today is that day.
The last few weeks, my relationship with God has been crappy. Seriously, crap. I don't blame Him though. I have been in this state of complacency. A place where I feel like a hamster spinning on a wheel everyday. Nothing new, nothing exciting. I go to work, I go home, I go to sleep, and the cycle continues.
For some reason, the connection with God's love just has not seemed to be there lately. I don't really know how to explain it. This has lead to some deep thinking that has made my head want to explode.
I sometimes wonder if Christians have selfish motives in their relationship with God. Truth, God blesses us. It is wonderful. He gives, He provides, old self, old habits, old perspective have all completely been turned upside down and spun around.
But, the question is, am I just in it for the benefits? Am I?
There is no doubt that having a relationship with God, you will have beneficial transformation. But sometimes it seems as if its nothing but a consumerist approach to God's love, doesn't it? It's like I've been attracted to this one-stop-shop of Jesus fixes, Santa Clause, rub the lamp, kind of relationship. but if that's all I'm in it for, then what about the parts of the Bible that I'm reading that talk about uniting with Christ's suffering and pain in our connection to the world? Loving our enemies, giving better than receiving, that's not all that desirable to me. Where do all these things fit into my consumption of "Benefit(ME) Jesus
The sad part is, when all these things seem to fade, its as if Jesus Himself abandoned us.
But this is what I have realized. I have realized that I cant just go on consuming God's love. Instead I am letting His love consume me. I am letting it surround, penetrate, overflow through me.
Karl Barth, was asked one day what the most profound discovery he ever found of God in all the scriptures.This was asked of a brilliant aged man who spent countless hours contemplating and living this gospel his entire life. Amongst some of the other greatest intellectual theologians in the entire world he simply answered, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so." Jesus loves YOU, and He loves ME, and He loves His whole creation!
I can only explain my previous disconnect with God's love was the result of my lack of acknowledging it was within my midst. Other things have always gotten in the way of me knowing, experiencing and seeing God's Love. Who would have thought the the benefits of Christ would be one of those things?
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away." Romans 8:38 NLT
The last few weeks, my relationship with God has been crappy. Seriously, crap. I don't blame Him though. I have been in this state of complacency. A place where I feel like a hamster spinning on a wheel everyday. Nothing new, nothing exciting. I go to work, I go home, I go to sleep, and the cycle continues.
For some reason, the connection with God's love just has not seemed to be there lately. I don't really know how to explain it. This has lead to some deep thinking that has made my head want to explode.
I sometimes wonder if Christians have selfish motives in their relationship with God. Truth, God blesses us. It is wonderful. He gives, He provides, old self, old habits, old perspective have all completely been turned upside down and spun around.
But, the question is, am I just in it for the benefits? Am I?
There is no doubt that having a relationship with God, you will have beneficial transformation. But sometimes it seems as if its nothing but a consumerist approach to God's love, doesn't it? It's like I've been attracted to this one-stop-shop of Jesus fixes, Santa Clause, rub the lamp, kind of relationship. but if that's all I'm in it for, then what about the parts of the Bible that I'm reading that talk about uniting with Christ's suffering and pain in our connection to the world? Loving our enemies, giving better than receiving, that's not all that desirable to me. Where do all these things fit into my consumption of "Benefit(ME) Jesus
The sad part is, when all these things seem to fade, its as if Jesus Himself abandoned us.
But this is what I have realized. I have realized that I cant just go on consuming God's love. Instead I am letting His love consume me. I am letting it surround, penetrate, overflow through me.
Karl Barth, was asked one day what the most profound discovery he ever found of God in all the scriptures.This was asked of a brilliant aged man who spent countless hours contemplating and living this gospel his entire life. Amongst some of the other greatest intellectual theologians in the entire world he simply answered, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so." Jesus loves YOU, and He loves ME, and He loves His whole creation!
I can only explain my previous disconnect with God's love was the result of my lack of acknowledging it was within my midst. Other things have always gotten in the way of me knowing, experiencing and seeing God's Love. Who would have thought the the benefits of Christ would be one of those things?
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away." Romans 8:38 NLT
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