My way of counseling

Going into youth ministry I was aware that there would be many times where I would have to deal with serious issues. I just didn't know how many. I have come to learn that whenever something is wrong in the youth ministry, the main guy (which is me) is always the person that they go to to tell you how they feel. But here's the deal, I am horrible with confrontation. I get nervous, scared, awkward, and really don't know how to handle the solution in the midst of the moment. But I think I found a way in 2 words, Catch Phrase. Let me explain.

I'm sure you know of the game catchprase. It is a fun board game where the team has to guess the word that you are explaining. For example, if the word is tree I would yell out "tall, green, leafy" and they would guess tree. I think you get it.

Here is how I use it. I have the electronic version in my office. Whenever someone comes into my office and they are either mad or dad, I get out catch phrase.
I tell them right off the bat that this is awkward for me so we are going to take 2 minutes and play a game. We play a couple rounds. It gets them laughing and calmed down. Then I say "lets continue with why you came in here."

I have learned that when people are upset they sometimes say things that they wouldn't normally say. They are just hurt and angry and want to take it out on you. But if you get them in a "lighter" mood, they are more willing to listen and be understanding to what you want to say.

The best example happened a month ago. I had two 8th grade girls come into my office crying because I had to let their small group leader go. They hated me and couldn't understand why I did it. Instead of me trying to explain the situation while they were crying, I got out catch phrase. With in 3 minutes they were laughing and willing to listen to what I had to say.

Yes its weird, but when you hate confrontation as much as I do, its worth a try.
Just don't try it if someone comes in sad because a loved one just died. You kind of have to judge the situation to see if its worth trying.